Read Me

Always had a thirst for knowledge
That just couldn't be quenched
Went from reading letters
To reading books
And eventually reading people

Every person
Is just a book
Waiting to be read
Hoping for someone
To say
I get it

And I get that
First interpretations
May not always be correct
And secondhand listens
Aren't always incorrect

Cause everything
Isn't for everybody
But It's so inspiring
To read a book
That seems made for me

Feelings indescribable
When someone shifts
Through my own pages
And say
Wow, I get this

I get you
I like you
I love you
I want you
I need you
So I choose you
Just like you choose me

Let's forever be thirsty
For knowledge
Because new chapters of life
Get added all time
And I want to continue
To get you
Like you get me

Trinity

My body aches
And it shakes
It all amazes
How I can bend
But can't break

Twist me
Turn me
Lie to me
Learn me

What's broken
Can be mended
But it will never be the same

Detoxic

Does love really come

Just how real is it

Why does the same thing

That makes me cry my eyes

Lift my spirits in an instance

Suffering has meaning

But how much is too much

Love is a choice

But how much is too much

Used to simple gestures

Used to small talk

Used to always being depended on 

But never able to depend

Toxic people make you believe 

That this is it

This is love

No more no less

But truth is liberating

New experiences are beautiful

What used to be simple 

Becomes extravagant

The new aura you choose to revel in

You find independence

You find yourself

Because you found someone

Someone who detoxes

The pain away 

The fear away

And knows that 

Sometimes too much is too much

And sometimes its exactly enough

Of exactly what you need

Compromise

Transform me

But please don’t judge

Love me 

Hold me 

But please don’t mold me 

Into an image unlike myself

Give to me 

But never accept anything less

Than what you deserve

Celebrate our love 

Every day

With every word

With every action 

Express any and everything

Never let me 

Tell you who you are

And think its okay to just run free

This is whats best for me

You

The love 

The advice

The truth

Mine

Black Man
I love you
With every ounce of my being
With my sights set on you
Opportunities are limitless I see

We have walked and talk
Stood steady and discussed
About how our happiness depends on us

Black man
I adore you
Every hue every tone
Every thought and every feeling
It's a blessing to receive this healing

Through warming hugs
Through silent tears and long nights
Our meditations and transfers of energy
Make old habits dissolve
While new beginnings formulate
Black man; you are love
My main incentive to regulate

06/06/15 High Tide

I could have sworn I was on land 
Everything was fine 
Then suddenly it was high tide 
I got caught in my emotions 
Nothing left to do
But wait until the tide subsides 
Go through my emotions
Feel things out. 

Happy Anniversary

With most assurance

Love never dies. 

Long days

Sleepless nights

Long nights

Heart wrenching cries

Will leave you under the impression 

That what once was felt

No longer has life

That's just not true

Choices to be made

One can only understand 

That you must choose

Choose to believe that 

What may or may not be

Is your choice to see

Attachment vs Love

Now I see how silly it was 

To settle for attachment

So selfish
So controlling

So encumbering

So transient

So ego-boosting

Now that love has entered my life

I am selfless

So liberated 

Because of my growth

Everlastingly admired 

With no false ego to boost

Trans*

How disheartening is it
To believe
You are loved wholly
For you.

Only to discover
That only certain aspects
Of your identity can be loved
To maintain the comfort zone
Of another separate entity.

Dear Love.

The beauty of mutuality cannot be argued.

No compromises.

Deep stares into beautiful eyes

That declare 

I am here for you.

How often is it

That one is allowed

To love, care, support
All at once.

Without interruptions

Without obstructions

Without intruders.

Complete with resolutions.

Patient

Allow the weak
To go with the flow
It's the only thing
That they know

Once the towers
Come tumbling down
New seeds can be planted
For the opportunity of the hour

Adolescence

All in we go
Its all we know
To laugh
To learn
To smile
And grow

The games we play
Are awfully old
Cause fate is destined
To surely show.

Clicks

I've grown accustomed
To this feeling.

That feeling
When you find the perfect key
Its fits into the keyhole

Then suddenly you discover
That the lock will just won't click for you.

That door just isn't open for you.

For Goodness Sake, Think!

Get off your high horse
Stop trying to look between closed lines
Examine what is in front of you.

No matter the vagueness of the message.
No matter the frankness of the content.
It is no one's fault

If your interpretations,
Your inferences,
Your responses
Are flawed.

Opposites

Vulnerability captures the attention of the devoted
Strength attracts the attention of the weak.

With strength as my image
Vulnerable as my truth
When at my lowest
I pretended to be strong
Only to meet one
Who would merely break me down.

With vulnerability as my image
Strength as my truth
When at my highest
I accepted the fluctuation of my spirit
And embraced my own self.

Spite

You take my heart
My soul
And misuse
You abuse
Without any just cause

You take
What is so dear to me
And pin it against me
Only to force my hand
Manipulate my actions
To fit your needs

To think
I allow someone
To delegate
To demand
That I do their bidding
It is so beneath me

So unlike me
Almost to the point
That my disdain
For you
Only grows
With my dislike for my idiocy.

Augen & Mond

If I shape my own preferences
My own experiences
My own perceptions
My own views
Then who are you
To tell me who I can and cannot
Compare you to.

Its never that
Someone is a duplicate
Or a mild imitation
Some failed attempt at being you
It is a reference
That is only relevant
To me; not you.

So please,
Be conscious
That the relevance
Of my references
Are for my interpretation only
Complexities of the human mind
Are endless

And the complexities of my mind
Are not to be debated
Maybe analyzed
Never alleviated.

Socialize

What will happen
When we realize
What they have done.

Once the eyes are open
And it is revealed
That this double consciousness
Is more than pure theory

It is a reality
Which shakes and quakes
Breaks and bends
Without any limits to be found

What will happen
When they realize
What we must do

In order to break the chains
To see the truth
That the lens we look through
Is not made for us

It does no justice
The sow that is reaped
Initially no thoughts of our own
No actions we took

Only what was given
That which has been taught
With blinders to the candor
Of the society from which

We and they must always be a part of.

Moon Vater

Crafted in your image
You are my best enemy
Here to poke and to prod
Me to transform into my truest form
So purposefully created only days apart

This line up
This set up
Far too sweet
It is unimaginable
That it was done intentionally.

A love so pure
Devotion so deep
Endless challenges faced
Not even the sharpest axe
Could sever this bond.

Today...

Today I sat in darkness
See none, but hear some
Blinded by what I see
Numb from what I feel
Sinking beneath lies
I have yet been defined by...
Scars beyond the naked eye
No idea how I survive
My soul has been enclosed
From fear that no one knows
So used to being strong
Do you know what I mean?
Never admitting what's wrong
Tired of lying about how I feel
Lying about what's on the inside of me
Just lying to myself
Waiting for what I know will never come around to come
Always walking with my head down
The truth is
I'm scared
Scared to be disappointed
Scared to be let down

So today I sat in darkness just scared.

Original Author: Moona Miller

Remember

Don't you remember
I told you
You'd be the one
Crafted from a divine image
Handpicked for me

Don't you remember
I showed you
I could be the one
Molded from your needs
Aware of your desires.

Moon & Mercury

There's this tiny little voice
Inside my head that says
Tell him, tell him soon, tell him now
But my heart just won't let me.

My brain just can't form the sentences
Can't find the words
Even while my heart says

He has to know now
He has to know soon.
He has to know.

But I just cant think straight.
My feelings are in a frenzy
So I have to keep it to myself.

Circa 2013

Do you know me?
Do you think do?
Is it enough to love me?
But then again how can you love me?
Can you guide me; encourage me?

Are you sensual,
Are you rough?
Do you leave marks of love;
Or marks of rage?

If we part
Will you know how much I cared
Perhaps how much I didn't

Will you have fallen in love
With someone you didn't know
Or hated someone you did?
So I have to ask;
Do you know me or do you think you do?

Rambles

Here we go again
This same old sad love story;
Broken trust and empty words.
It really is a shame nowadays.
People bending over backwards
Just to lay beside you.
Just to lie within you.
Perfectly naked physically
Complete covered emotionally; mentally
Wouldn't lift a single finger
To repair damage they've inflicted on your heart

It's almost sickening at times
The thought of people we've glanced over
Due to shallow conclusions.
Thinking that for once
You've found what you need
Only to see you were tricked
Bamboozled into offering yourself up
To someone who merely wanted you as a tangible prize

Too often do we hear
You are one of a kind
Unlike any predecessor
Only to receive the same treatment as the masses
Never designate a title without the intentions
Of actually fulfilling its duties; its responsibilities
To the best of your abilities.

Keeping to ourselves
Only to be disrupted
In our shells
Wanting to be left alone
Uncoincidentally enticing others to discover our mystery
Through the rain
Through the sunshine
Observe who follows through

Try to shake the feeling
Embrace the thought
That nothing will go away
As easily as it has come

Are We Sure

Do you think that people are afraid to admit
When their choices regarding love
Do not yield the results they desire

Contemplations about
What could
What should
What may
Do not produce what is

Look at what we've done
Do you see what we've caused
Because the burden of these consequences
From the effect of these decisions
Is too much to bear

How sure are we;
That we know what we're doing?

Hide & Seek

I was looking for you.
I looked far and wide.
High and low
And there you were
Right under my nose.

I was searching for you.
I searched high and low.
Far and wide
While everyone told me
Sit back;
To let you seek me out.

But here you are.
Smack dab in my face.
More magnificent that I imagined
Much better than the image I created.
And I'm so glad that I've found you.

Expectations

What is it that  you expect from me?
When the lines are drawn;
And the memories have faded?

I have been exactly who I am supposed to be.
For you and for me.

What can I do?
When, my standards; far too detailed.
And my expectations far too high

For you to meet them.

Being.

Being internally defined

I am motivated by me

Guided by me

Unapologetically me.

Unbothered by external scrutiny

I am ruthless as I progress

On this journey filled with uncertainty and setbacks

To continue to be self made. 

Snips

Yesterday I just watched

As she clipped and snipped

All my bad energy away.

Yesterday I just sat

As she shaped and molded 

The true essence of my beauty.

Today I am rejuvenated.

As I run and prepare 

To conquer the world. 

Oh Love.

Sometimes I just sit and think;
That maybe my type of love,
Just isn't meant
To be given to one person

Perhaps its fate that I extend
My most valuable and precious resource
To the world.

Maybe there isn't a path
To satisfaction
Unless I give my all
To the masses.

You'll Find It.

There's the saying that,

If you go looking for something,

You'll find it.

So as I shuffle through my personal belongings,

Reminisce about my first period of time,

Away from home and all on my own,

I run across our picture today.

So what does it mean?

When flashbacks to these times

Make me smile,

Make me laugh, 

Even make me cry?

How did you go from being plastered on my wall?

To hidden in a drawer.

There's the saying that,

Sometimes the answer is right in front of you,

You just have to open your eyes.

So, I'm staring at this picture,

Analyzing how we moved from that,

To this whole new picture painted,

Of what we have to be,

What we're supposed to be. 

How do I ignore all current signs

To change my current situation.

Is it really possible that these pictures,

Were really our reality?

Are these friendships really broken,

If so, when did we reach our expiration date?

Quite Clear

Whether by fate or fatality
I cannot continue to bear the burden
Of giving my heart away to those who do not deserve it

These minutes
These hours
These days
These weeks
These months
And soon these years

Are far too precious
To be idly wasted
But it's far too conflicting
To make a judgement for the future
Far too soon
To belong to anyone else
But myself

I Just Do

I've been thinking about you and  I
It's clear to me that the changes that have occurred have turned into this transformation
Because you see i've replayed the steps
I understand how I've gotten here

I've been thinking about me and you
The times we've shared
All the incidents that have occurred sometimes it's almost picture perfect
Sometimes it's natural disaster

I've been thinking that
Maybe eventually things will be better
The moment that I can answer I just do.
To all the questions of
The reasons I smile
The reasons I cry
The reasons I laugh
The reasons I get scared
And The reasons I love

Including The reasons I fallen in love with you
Because they all should fall  under the umbrella of I just do
Along with the fact that I'm in love with you

Obligations

To mold,

To motivate,

To inspire,

To guide,

To build,

A little ball of potential.

You gave, I gave, We have

You gave me you something small,

So I made it something big.

You gave me your last,

So I had to put it first.

Because the things seem the most trivial,

Or the most insignificant,

Are usually the most important.

I'm giving my all,

So please do the most.

I'm giving my best

Just in case we face the worst. 

Because the things that matter most,

May seem as if they matter the least,

But are usually the master key.

Just in case the time comes,

Where one day all I have,

Is a small bit of,

My last or my least.

I expect your all 

And the upmost 

Just in case we have to face the worst.

Space It Out

How much longer,
Until worries are a thing of the past?

How much longer,
Must I yearn for your presence?

It always used to seem so simple.

Make a plan.
Carry it out.

So many obstacles.
So much time.

Was it always this complicated?

Feelings are mutual.
Love in the air.

So how much longer,
Until I know whether or not,
I can be yours,
And you can be mine.

Sweet Venus

You and I are both well aware,
I don't believe in coincidences.

Whether it's fate or the planets' alignment,
That's brought you into my world
Is well beyond my imagination.

You are an opportunity,
A chance,
A blessing
To become wholly me.

Me and you are both conscious
That this love we share is essential.

Whether it be a phone call or a message
That subsides my worries that you'll be gone eventually
I leave my heart for the taking.

You are balance,
A splash of intellect
A pinch of corniness
That makes me feel your love while still miles and miles apart.

Flex On.

People die every day
That's what they say
That's what I say

The average Black man is lucky
Just to see past the age of 25
But why?

Why is it that my homies have to die?

I ask my father,
What happened to all your friends.
Either dead or in jail is his reply.
But why?

Is it because we're Black?

Should my roots and skin
Make me ten times as aware
Or ten times as oblivious

Just to escape reality
Just to live in my world
With my own rules, my own morals.

How many names will I have to give my sons,
Just so the memory of my friends will live on.

_______________________________________

Rest in Paradise
Damani Wiggins [10/18/2011]
David White [09/12/2012]
Jahshim Turnbull [03/10/2016]

Concern

I could sit here.
Try to figure out what's going on.
How you are.
Where you been.

But do I really care?
Does it really make a difference?

Last I checked,
You're content.
Last I checked,
You didn't meet the requirements.

So does it really matter?
Am I really that concerned?

I could call you up,
Try to figure out what's going,
Why you lie,
What you're thinking.

But that's her concern.
Because it really doesn't matter,
And I'm not that interested.

It's Like Dat

Gon' head with the bullshit. 

Just cease and desist. 

Because the next thing you say 

I know it's a total miss. 

You're a phony baloney 

Full of malarkey and anarchy

Too much to try and diss.

Cut the crap.

Hold your horses lil' shawty

We not runnin' that type of show

It's not that type of party

You get what you've been given

Appreciate what you got

I'm a handful

So I don't give hand outs.

Fou'nation

I've been searching.
For some peace in this nation.
Its been a long while but,
I can't seem to be at ease.

Because I've been watching.
As the divisions multiple
And add to the tension in the air.
Making it harder for me to breath.

So since I've been stressin'
I've decided that,
These lesson learned require,
I be the change I want to see.

Steps

At this moment in this place

You're aren't even close 

To being mine.

Is it Deja vu?

Or is it fate?

That keeps leading me back to you.

I've analyzed the statistics 

I've calculated the steps

All to create my game plan

For all that it's worth 

My only goal are memories 

That help relish this day of action

Yes, it sucks.

To start loving someone is easy

Letting go is hard

But to be stuck in between

That is something 

I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy

Might Just Need That.

I need love. In its simplest form and its most complicated form. As a human being, I can humbly admit that I need love.

Without it, what can I do, how far will I go, and how will I persevere?

There are far too many forms of love for one's heart not to be open to it. There are far too many people in this world for you not to have an ounce of affection and attachment to another living breathing human being.

Without them, who will you laugh with, who will you share memories with, and who will you openly choose to love?

So often I am told that love is an emotion and at the same time love is a choice. I can not choose how something will make me feel internally, but I can choose how to display this feeling externally.

It is never that I want love, there have been times that I haven't. Despite those feelings, I need it. Very often I crave it; too afraid to embrace it. But in the name of well-being for the mind, body, and spirit it is my duty to exuberate it.

Even in its simplest or complicated form as human beings, we need love. We should admit that and we should embrace it. At times wanting love can infer that you can do without or even that you will do whatever takes to have.

We must be mindful of the choices that we make because these choices are only a reflection of us. It is dire that we be careful with our energy as far as what and whom we chose to love, because it isn't a force of nature to love those who do not love you back, it's a choice.